I am constantly asked by parents as to how they should respond to questions asked by their children. The answer most asked for concerns the salvation of their children:
“When should I approach the subject?”
“What should I say?”
“What shouldn’t I say?”
“How do I know they are ready?”
My wife Gail taught “Child Growth and Development” in a Christian college a few years back. One of her lessons covered this subject. The following is part of her outline.
Some Things to Consider Ahead of Time:
· Realize that God is more concerned about your child’s eternal destiny and happiness than you are. “The Lord … is long-suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
· Pray specifically beforehand that God will give you insights and wisdom in dealing with each child on his or her maturity level.
· Don’t use terms like “take Jesus into your heart,” “dying and going to hell,” and “accepting Christ as your personal Savior.” Children are too literal (“How does Jesus breathe in my heart?”) or the words are too clichéd and trite for their understanding.
· Deal with each child alone, and don’t be in a hurry. Make sure he or she understands. Discuss. Take your time.
A Few Cautions:
· When drawing children to Himself, Jesus said for others to “allow” them to come to Him (Mark 10:14). Only with adults did He use the term “compel” (Luke 14:23). Do not compel children.
· Remember that unless the Holy Spirit is speaking to the child, there will be no genuine heart experience of regeneration. Parents, don’t get caught up in the idea that Jesus will return the day before you were going to speak to your child about salvation and that it will be too late. Look at God’s character – He is love! He is not dangling your child’s soul over hell. Wait on God’s timing. Pray with faith, believing. Be concerned, but don’t push.
THE PLAN:
1) God loves you. Recite John 3:16 with your child’s name in place of “the world.”
2) Show the child his or her need of a Savior.
a) Deal with sin carefully. There is one thing that cannot enter heaven – sin.
b) Be sure your child knows what sin is. Ask him to name some (things common to children – lying, sassing, disobeying, etc.). Sin is doing or thinking anything wrong according to God’s Word. It is breaking God’s Law (Rules).
c) Ask the question “Have you sinned?” If the answer is “no,” do not continue. Urge him to come and talk to you again when he does feel that he has sinned. Dismiss him. You may want to have prayer first, however, thanking God “for this young child who is willing to do what is right.” Make it easy for him to talk to you again, but do not continue. Do not say, “Oh, yes, you have too sinned!” and then name some. With children, wait for God’s conviction.
d) If the answer is “yes,” continue. He may even give a personal illustration of some sin he has done recently or one that has bothered him.
e) Tell him what God says about sin: We’ve all sinned (“There is none righteous, no, not one,” Rom. 3:10). And because of that sin, we can’t get to God (“For the wages of sin is death…” Rom. 6:23). So He had to come to us (“…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord,” Rom 6:23).
f) Relate God’s gift of salvation to Christmas gifts – we don’t earn them or pray for them; we just accept them and are thankful for them.
3) Bring the child to a definite decision.
a) Christ must be received if salvation is to be possessed.
b) Remember, do not force a decision.
c) Ask the child to pray out loud in her own words. Give her some things she could say if she seems unsure. Now be prepared for a blessing! (It is best to avoid having the child repeat a memorized prayer after you. Let her think, and make it personal.)*
d) After salvation has occurred, pray for her out loud. This is a good way to pronounce a blessing on her.
4). Lead your child into assurance.
Show him that he will have to keep his relationship open with God through repentance and forgiveness (just like with his family and friends), but that God will always love him (“I will never leave you nor forsake you,” Heb. 13:5).
*If you wish to guide your child through the prayer, here is some suggested language:
“Dear God, I know that I am a sinner [have child name specific sins he or she acknowledged earlier, such as lying, stealing, disobeying, etc.]. I know that Jesus died on the cross to pay for all my sins. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I believe that Jesus died for me and rose again from the dead, and I accept Him as my Savior. Thank you for loving me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
